But God, I love him...

Dearest Heavenly Father,

I’ve never felt a heartbreak such as this. As I sit here, alone, trying to find the words, they weigh on my chest as if to stifle my very breath.

I’m confident that the decision we made was the right one. I know that nothing bad can come from laying the man I love and the woman I’ve been at Your feet. I have so much faith that You will sit with me in my heartache, that You will see my desperate attempt at total surrender, and You will do something incredible through it – that Your plan will be better than anything I could’ve dreamed up on my own.

But God, it hurts.

This sacrifice hurts.

I feel like I’m mourning my best friend and the person I was all at once. And even though I’m so excited for everything You’ll do in our lives, I am also so very sad to be without him.

I can feel You answering my prayer for faith. I know that, at the end of this, I’ll be different. Stronger. More obedient. But God, I love him, and my heart is aching.

Your will be done, God. Always. But please, give me the strength to stay faithful. Have mercy on me. Draw close to me, Lord, because I can’t endure this hurt alone.

Sincerely,

Your humble servant