Today I saw a girl...

God,

Today, I saw a girl. She sat next to me on the bus – the same one I always take heading home from the office. Her face was young and her hands were small. She was probably still in her teens.

She had bandages on her left wrist. Three of them, stacked parallel, one on top of the other. With a quick glance, I could see the thin red lines, just barely peaking through.

I felt my face fall. I tried not to stare. And I wanted so badly to say something to her. Something. Anything. I wanted to tell her how much You love her. I wanted to tell her that even though this world is dark and full of hurt, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I wanted to tell her that she can find rest and comfort in You.

But I didn’t.

I pried my eyes away from her arm. I prayed in silence. But I didn’t say anything to her.

Why? Why didn’t I listen to that urge to speak? Why did I let her walk away?

I guess I was scared. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or cause a scene. I didn’t want to be awkward or intrusive.

But now I can’t stop thinking about how much greater the upside might have been.

Worst case? She might’ve looked at me strangely or rolled her eyes, or maybe said something rude back to me. But in the best case, maybe saying something as simple as “Jesus loves you” could’ve sparked some curiosity about You. Maybe telling her that I’ll be praying for her would've reminded her that she’s not alone. Maybe, by risking a little bit of social discomfort, I could’ve done something good for a young woman who’s struggling.

And yet, here we are, and I said nothing.

God, I am so sorry.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t brave. I’m sorry that I put my own anxieties before the wellbeing of another person. I’m sorry that when I had the chance to proclaim Your endless, unconditional love, I stayed silent.

I’m sorry that today I failed one of Your children.

Please, God, be with that girl. Help her. Remind her that she is loved. Free her from the struggles that weigh on her heart. Show her that there is hope and healing in You.

And please, God, help me to be brave, so that the next time I come across someone who needs love, comfort, or truth, I will not hesitate.

Humbly,

Your servant